China buys Russia

Xi Jinping, “I’m going to buy your country.”
Putin, “I know.”

President Xi goes to Hong Kong, to line up financing to buy Russia.
The fat cats and salary earners line up Queen’s Road, on their knee to welcome skipper Xi.

Every head of states are sending their congratulatory message on 25th anniversary of return of Hong Kong.

After brief congratulations on the phone video,  Putin said, “Boss, you have worked hard.”
Xi smiles big.
An uncomfortable pause.
“It’s a matter of your words” Putin shifted nervously.
Xi nodding thoughtfully, “Since you know what’s coming, Then I’ll make a long story short. Name a price.”
Sitting at the end of the long table, back to the wall, Putin is heartbroken. He is forced. On top of that, his health is deteriorating, it is quite the feeling of a dying age. The chance to dance semi naked for a living is gone. His eyes welled up.
Ever the great empathizer, Xi, “Don’t be sad. You have been at the top for more than two decades. We Chinese prize quality, not quantity. We can’t compare with that British woman who was born into it. Remember, we are voted in by free and democratic elections.”
“you’re so right!” Putin muttered.
“I won’t give you hard time, we’re brothers after all. You don’t have to go to a nightclub to strip dance for a living. Our pension benefits for retired officials in China are the best in the world.”
“Thank you, big bro, and I bless you the boss.”
“Oh one more thing: I’m merciless about corruption, but I’ll let it go. You keep your billions of dollars of wealth. It’s not easy to be able to embezzle that much. Man, how did you do it?”
Putin breathes a huge relieve and can’t help but prepare to do a striptease.
“Not my thing, kiddo.” Xi said.
“I’m sorry, just got a little excited.” Putin humbly apologized.
Xi waved his hand inadvertently and cut off the video.

The next day the five-star red flag was planted high on top of the Kremlin.

The old man Biden lost his sleep in the White House.

“That Xi sob has done it.” He now is watching the five-star red flag flying high in Russia on TV makes him want to die. Wouldn’t the White House also be on Xi’s acquisition list, and USA in that matter?
Thinking about his Supreme Court still arguing about not being able to get an abortion… A professor at a USC business school who added porridge used Chinese ‘that’, but an anonymous complaint letter just said that he used the N word, hurting the African-American students and has bene suspended…
…
These trivial nonsense of his countrymen has handed over the top position at the pole, and that makes shabby White House may be a little difficult to guarantee.
The one who loses is sad, the one who regrets, the one who has a hard mouth, the one who speaks of suffering … he just dropped dead.

The Little Three is happy to be the Potus.
However, all head of other countries are busy sending congratulatory messages to Xi, leaving Little Three in the cold. Three doesn’t care about these etiquette “As long as I can sleep my way into the White House, I don’t care about anything else!”
Woohoo
China cheers
America sighs

A reminder to Little Three, “go and learn some Chinese. Otherwise, no one will pay attention to you at the next G8 Summit!”

Turning my head, I also began to secretly laugh. Thinking that I will never learn English again, that sounds like music to me. My laugh is so big that I can’t close my mouth, it’s kind of laugh that adds more wrinkles.

the end of the play

Fictional nonsense, any similarity is purely coincidental -:)

大大香港融资 买俄国

大大吩咐 “备马去香港融资”.
手下们谢天谢地 屁颠屁颠去预鞍

香港一众大佬 小刺佬们跪满中环 “欢迎大驾光临 庆祝本港回归中国25周年”
大大骑着宝马车 挥挥手 “起身”

各国纷纷发来贺电 同祝
贼眉鼠眼在电话视频上 恭喜后 “老大您辛苦了”
大大只笑不语
“您一句话的事儿” 冰雪聪明贼眉鼠眼献眉
大大点点头 “识做. 那我就长话短说了. 开个价吧”
贼眉鼠眼坐在长桌的尽头 伤心欲绝. 被逼无奈 “您随意.” 看看自己的健康每况愈下, 颇有风烛残年的感觉 跳脱衣舞为生的机会不再. 不禁黯然泪下.
大大善解人意 “别难过. 你也威风凛凛的20多年了. 咱们讲究质量,不追求数量. 不能和英国那女的比, 咱们可是自由民主选举出来的.”
“也是” 贼贼嘟囔
“我不会为难你的, 大家兄弟一场. 你也不必去夜总会去跳脱衣舞. 我们中国对退休官员的养老福利是世上最好的.”
“谢大爷了 俺祝福老大.” 贼眉鼠眼释怀小小.
“另外 我可是对贪污不留情面的 不过会网开一面,你那几十亿美元的财富自己留着.能贪那么多也实属不易.”
贼眉鼠眼立刻有精神了 又情不自禁准备跳脱衣舞
“俺可不好那口.”
“对不起 一时鸡冻.” 贼眉鼠眼卑谦的陪罪
大大漫不经意的挥挥手, 断了视频.

第二天五星红旗就高高的插在在克里姆林宫.

败灯老头在白宫一宿无眠

看着电视里的五星红旗高高飘扬在俄国 想死的念头都有 白宫不会也在习大大的收购单上吧?
想着自己的最高法院 还在为不能堕胎而争吵不休… 加粥的USC 一商学院的教授用中文’那个’ 结果一封匿名检举信硬是说他用了 N 字 有伤黑娃学生 被停职…
…
自家的这些鸡毛蒜皮的胡闹 活生生把个老大的位置拱手出让, 寒酸的白宫说不定都有些难保
货真价实的 一夜回到解放前
败败那个难过 那个懊悔 那个有口难言 那个有苦难言. 火气冲天 一下顶不住 驾崩 拜拜了

小三上位 欢天喜地的
可是各个国家都忙着给大大发贺电 把小三给冷落了. 三三才不在乎这些礼节 “只要能睡进白宫 俺啥都不在乎!”
呜呼哀哉
中国 一片欢呼
美国 唉声叹气
喊话小三 “别净偷着乐吧 快去学点中文. 不然G8峰会没人理你!”

转头 俺也开始偷着乐. 想想俺再也不要学英文了, 那个乐. 合不拢嘴的乐 笑出皱纹的乐

剧终

胡言乱语  如有雷同  纯属巧合