Jul 24 2008
Soy in Pocket
Got soy in pocket
Got vial? You’re gonna need it
Intention, I feel inventive
Gonna make you, make you, make you no Dad
Got motion, restrained semen
Been driving, few sperm leaning
No reason, just seems so pleasing
Gonna make you, make you, make you no Dad
Gonna use my soy nuts
Gonna use my miso
Gonna use my yuba
Gonna use my tempeh
Gonna [...]
Jul 18 2008
THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE ->
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes [...]
Jul 09 2008
二十年前，邓爷爷访美，召开记者招待会，正好翻译不在。美国老记想考考邓爷爷的英语水平，便说：“请问美国第一任总统叫什么名字？”邓爷爷英语水平比较呆板，便想按中国人的习俗，见面应该先问姓，便操着四川口音说：“我姓邓”(华盛顿)美国老记认为这个问题太简单，便又说：“请问，您夫人和孩子到美国都干了些什么？”邓爷爷又想问完姓，该问名了吧，就回答说：“小平（shopping）”老记们又问：“那么他们是用什么交通工具？”邓爷爷又按中国习俗，认为他们在问年龄，就回答：“八十（bus）”老记哗然，又问：“那么台湾下一任总统会是谁？”邓爷爷等来等去，翻译还没有来，便回答说：“你等会（李登辉）”老记再次哗然，这么敏感的政治问题也回答得如此轻松，便又问：“那李登辉后边呢？”邓爷爷有些不耐烦说:”随便（水扁，）”老记们看看翻译快要来了，便抓紧时间问最后一个问题：“您觉得二十年后中国面临的最大问题是什么？”邓爷爷极其不耐烦，心想这些美国记者们怎么这么不识趣，没完没了的问个不停，沉下脸反问道：“啥子（SARS）？”
Jun 19 2008
Results of Lou’s recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.
The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex
* This kind of sex happens when you first meet Someone and you both have sex until you are Blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex
This is when you have [...]
Jun 12 2008
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw [...]
Jun 12 2008
都是男人鑄造的錯__
Guess Men Are the Real Problems
你且說說…..哪種女人問題不是男人招惹來的??
Woman has Man in it;
Mrs. has Mr. in it;
Female has Male in it;
She has He in it;
Madam has Adam in it;
Okay, it all makes sense now…
I never looked at it this way before:
MENtal illness 精神病
MENstrualcramps 月經絞痛
MEN tal breakdown 精神崩潰
MENopause 更年期 停經
GUY necologist 婦產科醫生 [correctedly spelled gynecologist]
AND ..
When we have REAL [...]
May 21 2008
Help .. Help .. prospect .. my past, my present and my future .. oh lord hairy toothy decaying, how many dentists do I need to fix those? I think I’ll need to start to floss and brush maybe every other week? Tea and wine have stained my teeth, ok, I’ll increase the brush to every other [...]
May 12 2008
A 13 year old [Ralph] from Newark, Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order. .. .. Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win [...]
May 09 2008
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there’s nothing worse than an over sensitive woman.
My name is Jeff. Let me relate [...]
May 04 2008
London got itself a new mayor, spunky with a floppy hair. Does he need to go to the bathroom or what? Hey you just won the election, smile.
How will he manage London is yet to be seen and measured, but I like Michael Bloomberg much better.
I particularly like Bloomberg sees China as an enormous opportunity rather than threat. Building [...]
May 01 2008
Is this the recruiting season or what? A few good men are needed, A friend’s son who’s under grat at Johns Hopkins at the moment, summer interned at Google’s Manhattan’s office last year. They liked him so much, offered him the job. The friend said she [...]
Apr 27 2008
If you didn’t catch this last week, then watch it here .. Kenny Smith ..
Apr 27 2008
I got a set of Google office in Switzerland too, but in pdf format .. dont know how to convert them into pics,
* * *
Lou 週五去參加Google大客戶答謝活動。在五洲皇冠假日酒店聽完新產品介紹和客戶經驗交流後，將去Google中國總部大樓裏用餐和參觀。能親自去看看傳說中的Google辦公室，才是我最期待的地方。
座落于清華科技園的Google中國總部大樓，離我家並不遠，多次路過這幢看似並不起眼的大樓，今日終於得以一窺它的真面目。
Google總部大樓裏有多個餐廳，我們一行幾十個人先到二層一個普通的員工餐廳用餐。最初心裏還嘀咕，Google怎麼這麼小氣，竟讓我們”大客戶”吃食堂。可是拿起餐盤走到各色菜品面前時就頓時傻眼，即便是最普通的免費的員工午餐，也已經差不多是五星級酒店自助餐的標準了！Google慢慢向我們展現出它財大氣粗的真面目。
吃完飯，開始參觀神往已久的Google的辦公室。辦公室甚至包括一些辦公用品都可以由員工自由命名，幽默和創意便隨處可見：會議室叫”群英會”再貼切不過，那個叫”生化危機”的，好象就是個垃圾處理間。
牆上的照片記錄部門成長的歷史，也記錄了這些精英們豐富有趣的生活。那張用手指著的照片是他們的”睡衣日”，當天大家必須穿睡衣上班，真是搞笑；而某日女孩子須穿婚紗，更是誇張。
Google為每個員工提供”裝修經費”，大家可以按自己的創意對辦公區域進行裝修裝飾，甚至還為此定期搞評比，所以這裏的辦公室完全不象辦公室，而是一片片個性張揚的天空。當然，我們參觀的AdWords部門這一層因為基本都是女孩，所以顯得比較花哨一些，而開發人員那一層就清爽得多（可惜那層不讓拍照）。
Google員工的電腦配置一般都是一台筆記本，兩台二十多寸的寬屏液晶顯示器。真是令人豔羨！
Google辦公室非常寬敞，隨處都有這樣的休息、休閒的區域，工作累了就過來坐會兒、躺會兒，放鬆一下。
你甚至可以象這位老外員工一樣直接拿著筆記本在按摩椅上工作！真是邊工作邊休息啊。在Google什麼時候工作、什麼時候休息全由你做主，IT界的公司採用這種彈性工作制的不少，只是能象Google這樣提供如此舒適的工作和休息環境的怕就不多了。
離辦公區域不遠總有這樣的”能量補給站”：豐富的零食、水果、飲料免費供應！愛吃零食的女孩子注意了，為了保持身材，請遠離此區域！至於那麼新鮮誘人的草莓，不好意思，我是實在忍不住不下黑手的了。而旁邊筐裏鮮嫩的小黃瓜，一位員工信手拿走一條，一邊吃一邊托著筆記本開會去了，那種”勝似閒庭信步”的勁兒看得我們目瞪口呆。
Google大樓裏沒有飲水機，因為有取之不盡的瓶裝的農夫山泉。不過，Google也很”節約”，喝完了的空瓶這樣攢起來，到時賣廢品還可以賣不少錢呢！
不會休息的人就不會工作，在Google這句話體現得淋漓盡致。上班時間你也可能在各種遊戲機、檯球桌前看到玩得不亦樂乎的員工，當然，那人也許就是最愛深夜工作的狂人。總之，我的地盤我做主，只要能按期完成任務，工作和娛樂隨你怎麼安排。
配備精良的健身房、瑜珈廳，如果在這裏工作，就可以省了每年幾千塊錢的健身俱樂部的年費了。
Oh，My！這不是傳說中的按摩室嗎？電腦前坐久了難免腰酸背痛，到此來享受一把令疲勞頓消的按摩吧，這樣的服務同樣是我們已經聽得耳朵起繭的兩個字：免費！
員工在Google大樓裏的吃喝玩樂，如同Google提供的搜索、郵件、地圖等諸多業務一樣，全部免費！當然，我們這樣的”大客戶”都心知肚明，這一切離不開象我們這樣的成千上萬的Google廣告主每分第秒、源源不斷地為Google送去的驚人利潤。與此同時，我們又不能不由衷地感謝Google無所不及的網路平臺，為我們造就了一個平的世界，給我們帶來了源源不斷的客戶，每分第秒創造著利潤。
雖然時間有限或者說許可權有限，我們只參觀了兩個樓層，不過窺斑見豹，Google辦公室真是奢侈但不浪費，自由但有秩序，處處滲透出的輕鬆、隨意、朝氣、活力，不能不令每一個參觀者怦然心動——能在這樣的地方工作，真是如進了天堂！以至於到後來紛紛向帶領我們參觀的客戶經理”投訴”——我們不想做你們的客戶了，我們寧願來這裏當你們的員工！只是當Google的客戶易，想做Google的員工難！要知道Google的每一個職位後面都有成百上千的人在排著隊，還要經過長達數月的複雜招聘程式，最終能成為Google員工的定是人才中的人才，精英中的精英！羡慕這些幸運的人中龍鳳，不過，做一個優秀的公司，讓我的員工也能象Google的員工一樣幸福、快樂地工作，正在成為我的理想……
Apr 15 2008
Here are the home’s ‘Listed Features’:
* Completely redone top-to-bottom, front-to-back!
* Tumbled stone entrance walk
* Renovated Bath
* Renovated Kitchen with new stove, new cabinets and new stacked washer/dryer
* Bedroom with Murphy Bed + ‘Built-ins’ … (doubles as a den)!
* Walkout to fenced patio
* 100 Amp service
* 2 Satellite Dishes and Receiver
* Window Air Conditioner AvailableTHE [...]
Apr 14 2008
市政府开会,研究是否取缔三陪小姐。三陪小姐派代表作汇报发言:
1.不偷,二不抢, 三不反对共产党(公安局长首先表态:行!)。
2.不占地,不占房,工作只用一张床(国土 局长高兴地说:!)。
3.不生女,不生男,不给政府添麻烦(计生办主任点头:不错!)。
4.无噪音,无污染,只是偶尔喊一喊(环保局长说:没关系,喊 !)。
5.不集资,不贷款,自带设备搞发展(发改委主任高兴地说:欢迎!)。
6.下岗妹,别流泪,就业自己找机会(劳 动社保局长不住地说: !)。
7.不逃税,不欠费,挣多挣少无所谓(税务局长满意地说: 可贵啊可贵!)。
8.不嫌脏,不怕累,学会英语创外汇(外经贸局长伸出大姆指:够意思!) 。
9.不惹祸,不胡扯,坚决不当第三者(妇联主任很欣慰:省 啊!)。
10.不偷懒,保证爽, 注重信誉保市场(工商局长激动地说:难能可贵!)。
会后发出纪要:娼胜才能繁荣!
Apr 08 2008
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
The wife answered, ‘Oh, I [...]
Mar 28 2008
Lou sent this Swan Lake and wondered how can she keep her balance on her toe on the head of the male dancer? Really amazing. She’s graceful with really nice figure and endless pretty long legs. The gu lei is handsome too. Wondering what Tchaikovsky would think of it when he sees the froggies - you’ll have to wait out the [...]