Tag Archives: Funny pages

Stormy Sandy

The most destructive storm to ever hit New York City struck the night of Monday, October 29, 2012. The black out is going on, strong. On our way home from grocery shopping, we spotted a LIPA guy and stopped to … Continue reading

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This is wild ..

A 29 years old man paid $2,500 a month to his 34-year old neighbor to impregnate his former beauty queen wife.  The neighbor tried 3 times a week for six months without success .. the reason is .. .

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What did Newt Gingrich’s mother whisper

Into Connie Chung’s ere? Rich or bitch which? Mean Girl or what? Ha ha ha .. more on FB and gallery. .

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Politics and politicians

are lot of fun .. More on FB . Is he picking his buddy’s nose? The lady who’s quite fashionable, with matching blue sandals is teaching her son a lesson? He must be a rascal ..

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A book about women ..

Oh ha, finally there is a decent book that will help men to better understand women. Let me know if any of you out there needs a copy! I stole this from a FB friend .. ..

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Gates, Jobs and Zuckerberg

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has been named TIME magazine’s Person of the Year. CNN headline news reports this morning. 盖茨夫人接受采访时说:“我们家从来不用苹果的产品,甚至连苹果都不吃。” 坐在一旁的乔布斯不屑一顾:“切~那有什么了不起的,我们家连窗户都没有!” 扎克伯格听了,淡定回道:“你们敢不要face” Mrs. Bill Gates said at an interview that .. “We never use Apple product. Actually we don’t even … Continue reading

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Chinglish

For the last two years, the Shanghai Commission for the Management of Language Use has been trying to clean up English-language signs and menus to rid them of their malapropisms, like these examples. The New York Times noted. .. hmmmmmm.. … Continue reading

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Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

CNN .. the Onion

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Magician 台灣魔術師劉謙在 2010 年中央電

Taiwan magician Liu Qian moves the 3 coins through the glass .. look at the hostess’ big hair do, soo yester-century.

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InterPersonal skill

Wish I knew this two days ago .. I bet I can charm my opponents’ pants off next time around, if there ever will be one :). Dear Employees: It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout … Continue reading

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Pillow fight in San Francisco 2010

The tear gas came to say time’s up at 8:30 or so but it did nothing. Fighters lingered well into the night. A very special way to celebrate the Valentine’s Day: with pillow fight. It took place out side of … Continue reading

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My Concubine: 我的二奶,愛鳳!!

My Concubine: 我的二奶,愛鳳!! 花甲老翁得新寵 Old Man Got a New Love 千嬌百媚俏愛鳳 Lovely as a Beauty Can Be 生活起居有了她 Living with Her in His Life 憑添情調趣無窮 He is Having Fun without End 打扮時尚迎潮流 Dress Up as Modern as She Would 溫柔體貼性順從 … Continue reading

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A transient

I rather enjoy being a 过客 guoke: passing traveler, a transient guest. Perhaps its due to my nomadic youth, being herd from one city to another, back and forth. Being a 地头蛇 ditoushe, a snake in its old haunts or … Continue reading

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Some doctor ..

Q: Doctor,  I’ve heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; … Continue reading

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New airport security check in procedures

This is the new check in procedure developed in response to the latest attempts! Should work. Kinda puts the fun back in flying doesn’t it? It looks like a winter swimming (na ..) or protest on the street (ya .. … Continue reading

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兩分鐘給你講清楚哥本哈根大會是怎回事

如果一百多人在漏水的船上討價還價誰該往外多舀水,那是明擺著的蠢,事實上沒人會這么干,連船上那最自私最無恥的人,也會拿出最大公無私的精神拼命舀水的。 但是事情如果再複雜一點,就會有新鮮的現象了。如果船上的人算計一下,在這條船沈沒前,他們有足夠的時間安全抵達港口,危險屬於下一船乘客時,有很多人就會停下來安靜地欣賞海景了。 哪怕這條船在抵達港口前的確會沈沒一部分,比如灌滿一個叫“馬爾地夫”的船艙,其他艙室的人,基本上都會無動於衷。 更複雜的是,如果這艘船超重,需要乘客們把身上的金銀細軟拋下船的話,扯蛋就來了。窮人們說,富人錢多經得起蹧蹋你先扔,至少得再扔40%;富人則說窮鬼你那堆破爛兒又沉又不值錢你先扔;窮人說我扔也可以但你富人得拿出年收入的0.5%-1%,即3000塊補償給我,還得教會我發財致富的秘訣,富人說你丫做白日夢吧老子已經一年白給你100塊了,多了別想,你救的不是我是你自己。 窮人說老子才剛坐這船沒兩天,你狗日富人坐好幾年了,生生把新船坐成了破船,現下多出點血是天經地義的;富人說以前天殺的知道這船是會坐破的,再說如果不是我們富人天天搗鼓這船,你這幫農民今天還在刨地球,能懂航海術、看西洋景?今天這船要沉了也是我們發現的,要不你們這幫 人淹死了都不知道咋回事。 蛋還沒扯完,眼見船越來越漏的厲害。於是船客們聚到“日本房間”,窮人們靠著人多強行透過了一份《京都協議書》,要求富人趕緊扔東西,窮人卻可以不扔。 最富的富人米利堅說,這是明顯的仇富嘛,天下哪有這道理,俺不玩了。窮人說你B一家最重,負擔就占了全船的近1/5,你不扔誰扔?米利堅說我的東西是最重,但也最值錢。俺以全船1/4的值錢物件才占了1/5的重量,憑啥我扔?你們看看那叫拆哪的窮鬼,以不到3%的價值也占了近1/5的負擔,為啥不讓他多扔? 黑眼睛黑頭髮黃皮膚的拆哪一聽急了︰窮兄弟們別聽他的,俺們可都是窮苦人家出身,你們要是把我推出來,以後你們中有人小偷小摸耍流氓誰罩著啊? 好歹這船是大家的,你米利堅就是東西最多最重,這船也屬你坐的時間最長次數最多,看我干啥?憑啥?你憑啥?這最怕船沉的不是咱窮棒子是富人,他們經不起大規模人員傷亡。 為了盡快把蛋扯完,船客們最近又在一間叫“丹麥”的房間開了一個會。據最新消息,把蛋扯完的機會已經很渺茫。最重大的成果將是形成一份《哥本哈根共識》,這份有所有船客簽名的共識說︰“我們都發現並且承認,這船在漏水,而且是會沉的。” 這份共識發表后,船客們紛紛接到恭喜電話,表揚他們表現出了高超的政治智慧,並且堅定地捍衛了國家利益。

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老公 老婆 .. s/he thinks

所謂老公: 老公,就是婚前總是早早赴約,婚後總是遲遲回家的那個人。 老公,就是在婚前在你面前像孫子總是百依百順,婚後在你面前像老子總是發號施的那個人。 老公,就是婚前只看你的臉蛋是否漂亮,婚後只看你的雙手是否會幹家務活的那個人。 老公,就是婚前對你常常發誓,婚後對你常常發火的那個人。 老公,就是婚前常替你作事,婚後常叫你做事的那個人。 老公,就是婚前向你送玫瑰,婚後向你交工資的那個人。 老公,就是婚前對你說十句頂一句,婚後對你說一句頂十句的那個人。 老公,就是婚前對你說 你是我的一切 婚後對你說:我是你的一切的那個人。 老公,就是婚前在你面前乾淨整潔,婚後在你面前不修邊幅的那個人。 老公,就是婚前常常盤問你,婚後又怕被你盤問的那個人。 老公,就是婚前對你嘮叨百聽不厭,婚後對你的嘮叨火冒三丈的那個人。 老公,就是婚前在你面前海侃胡吹,婚後在你面前沈默不語的那個人。 老公,就是婚前總說你美麗,婚後總說別人老婆漂亮的那個人。 老公,就是婚前與你上街時口袋裏裝滿鈔票,婚後與你上街時口袋裏沒有鈔票的那個人…..   所謂老婆: 老婆,就是婚前約會每次都遲到,婚後整天不上班好吃懶做的那個人。 老婆,就是在婚前在你面前溫柔的跟小綿羊似的,婚後在你面前跟母老虎似的那個人。 老婆,就是在婚前畫的跟天仙似的,婚後就跟你又多了一個老媽一樣的那個人。 老婆,就是婚前最喜歡要你發誓,婚後成天看你不順眼的那個人。 老婆,就是那個婚前什麼都不幹,婚後更是天天壓迫你的那個人。 老婆,就是婚前最喜歡玫瑰,婚後最喜歡珠寶首飾的那個人。 老婆,就是那個婚前什麼都由她決定,婚後你要是發表意見就跟你瞪眼的那個人。 老婆,就是婚前對你說:我是因你而美麗,婚後對你說:我的美麗是天生的那個人。 老婆,就是婚前逛商場從不買東西,婚後不把你肚兜裏的錢花光決不出商場門的那個人。 老婆,就是婚前從來不想知道你的過去,婚後連你幼稚園的事都問十遍不嫌累的那個人。 老婆,就是那個婚前在你面前淑女狀,婚後整天跟你說張家長李家短跟大媽似的那個人。 老婆,就是婚前總說你是最帥的,婚後沒事就拿你和那個超級明星比的那個人。 老婆,就是婚前成天不想見你、一見你就煩,婚後就是你上個廁所都要向她彙報的那個人。 老婆,就是那個婚前說一起創業共同奮鬥,婚後成天嫌你錢賺的少的那個人。 哈哈哈……這那是老公和老婆,跟死敵一樣!就這樣結婚幹嗎?其實真正的老公和老婆應該是:無論婚前還是婚後都把對方的缺點當作優點來看的那個人;無論婚前還是婚後,都把自己的缺點為了對方改正的那個人;無論婚前還是婚後,都用包容和寬容去體會對方的那個人;無論婚前還是婚後,都真誠的去面對彼此的那個人;無論婚前還是婚後,都深愛對方的那個人;無論婚前還是婚後都是那個人的人!

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The Power of Wives

Some quotations (not sure all true or real but what’s heck) .. because of us, our men became pretty good thinkers and philosopher now 🙂 ~ . ~ When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than … Continue reading

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