The 40 Year Old Virgin

My 40 years old sister-in-law finally is engaged.
To a Caucasian.
This should not have been the case should her mother had her way.
When I first met my husband. One day I went to shopping with his mother and two younger sisters. In the car, the mother said to the youngster daughter,
“If you married someone other than Chinese, I’ll disown you.”
I was new to this country but I felt odd.
None of her children speak Chinese, neither her husband.
Secondly, why would a mother impose her will on her children?
Is Chinese that much better?
Sorry I said yes when the first guy proposed. (Well, almost.)
It happened Golfer’s Chinese even he doesn’t speaks the language.
It’s only in the USA, thing has to be politically correct. So there are many dashes.
Like Chinese-American. He never visited China.
Or African-American, even most of them have nothing to do with Africa.
Anyway, it turned out, every single guy she dated was non Chinese.
One year, a friend of older sister came to visit. He’s Chinese, good looking and a grad from Stanford law school. My in-laws were elated. They bought US Open tickets for us to go.
Mr. Stanford could not sit still. Constantly going shopping and wondering around. When he did sit down, he loudly made comment like
“Oh, look Johnny Mac.” Ya, his old buddy John McEnroe’s playing.
“Oh look, he is recording what Johnny is saying.” He pointed to the guy who was recording the speed of the serve.
People around us gave that look.
I have thin skin, did not want to sit with hilly belly.
So I told the sister-in-law the guy was recording the speed of the serve.
That relationship didn’t go too far. It had nothing to do with Irene. Because years later he tried to date her again but the sister-in-law said
“I don’t think so. He has not demonstrated any sincerity.”
About 10 years ago, the sister invited us and her older sister to meet her boyfriend Michael. We had dinner in South Street Seaport.
Michael was a white boy from Texas, product designer by profession. We liked him a lot, handsome, polite and laid back.
But it was the wrong race.
She never took him to meet her parents, was afraid not meeting her mother’s expectation.
“I won’t bring him to see Ma unless he proposed.”
Hmmmmm … I think you got the order wrong.
The sister wanted to get married and have children.
Few years ago, she brought her current finance to us. After few visits to us, she began to bring him to her parents’ home.
It’s been good 4 or 5 years.
Last year, one day I took my mother-in-law shopping. On the way back, she wondered out loud innocently when would her daughter get married.
“I told her not to be so picky. ..”
I felt so sorry for the sister.
We are all so happy for her now that she is engaged. Today at dinner we talked about it, making plans.
“But he isn’t Chinese.” Pumpkin pointed out.
My heart sank.
“Why do you say so?” I never relay this story to my children.
“Oh, grandma said we have to marry Chinese.”
“She told you that too?!?!” I couldn’t believe my ears. They are my children. They should and could choose anyone they want.
“Yes.” Pumpkin relied evenly.
I just wanted to punch something or someone.
Pls keep that crap to yourself.
Stay off my children !!
“You know you can date anyone .. ” I began the motherly preach.
“I know mother dear” Pumpkin told me.
Really, does color matter? I don’t think so. Divorce rate is as high in China as in USA.
If the person my child is dating or marrying is decent and they’re in love, why do I care if s/he color purple or orange?
“Even he’s from Mars.” Golfer suggested.
There you go. That’ll do.

About The Kibbitzer

bio info .... mmmm ... still working on it ... will add soon ...
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