Good education but poor manner 有教育没教养

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.

By Clarence Thomas, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States
~ . ~ . ~
Chinese has good education but no upbringing. Ok, let me rephrase it, Chinese who with adequate to excellent education lack the social grace or basic upbringing, severely.

There are moments that left me exasperated. Like, a good buddy who opens a new can of tennis balls, but so routinely discard the thin tin lid on to the ground. I didn’t know to pick it up or left it laying there. If there isn’t a garbage can in sight, why can’t the player put it back to the can??? I found litterbugs on private court too – cap, tin and tissue – see the above pics.

One day the four of us playing. The wife of one player started to jump (warming up) around, next to the court. When the owner who sat outside of the court watching, asked her to do it elsewhere, she replied,
“It’s ok, I prefer it here.”
During the match, she would give comments and critics, mostly to her husband. It’s very annoying. Even her hubby asked her to stop.
After the match, Peter and I walked out of the court. His face turned purple from anger.
“这个女人真没教养.” .. This woman has no decent upbring ..
Pause.
“She’s too much.”

The couple are from the most elite university in Beijing.  She’s a decent player, ought to know the etiquette or acceptable social behavior.

Well, Irene reckoned, anyway.
..

Lou travels to China so often that he’s grievances are arm long: people in China would never holds the door for the followers, and as you can see, there are plenty followers in China, 1.3b to be exact .. thinking Manhattan is packed? Multiply that crowded four or six times.

When someone cut line, he would yell out loud, and the line cutter would look at him surprised, why does this man act so rude?

The ladies in Shanghai would still go out in their PJs and hair in rollers.. and they talk loud ..

Oh, about the spitters.
“They all have good qi gong.” Sucking it up from their stomach to their throat and spit it out so professionally, that they’ll make Leonardo DiCaprio looked amateurish on that Titanic.
“And they can do it so clean” not all over their face. And when they clean their nose, they don’t use tissue, they use one figure close off one side of their nostril,
“Man, they can do it so clean” not all over their face.

Some one told me that when the the school bags were passed out at the earthquake area, the kids would mobbed the truck.
“Can’t they wait on line one by one?? Every child will get one!!”

Shanghai has enough hardware that people often find Manhattan looked like the third world. Beijing has a face lift that makes DC looked like Baghdad. But you know what, I love living in the third world where people has more culture and decent upbringing.

My cousin once chatted with me, saying how modern Shanghai is, then ruefully said, “.. .. the air is bad ..”
You know what, there is a certain cost in building a sky scraper, only that much, compare to replace the air. How do you do it? I don’t think US$300m could even filter it.

The first time I landed in JFK, I had a draw string handbag and was lazy to tie it up – maybe I just trust NY that much. In the short distance from the seat of the aircraft to the line at luggage pickup, there were four people with various accents (New York too) reminded me to be careful.

First day at Village (in downtown), I was too busy snapping pictures and looking at the street vendors, I bumped into few people (one was a bus boy because later I sat at a cafe where he worked), and all of them said “I’m sorry”.

If it’s were in Hong Kong, people would stare at you, then goes
“Why the heck you got into my way” was more likely the out come of the clash.

One night at a reception where 40 or so (predominately Chinese from main land, the Consul General Peng Keyu was on hand too) raise US$88k for the earthquake victims. At the end, the speaker stood around entertained few questions. One good looking woman who works at a hedge fund with an eye popping diamonds was being assertive, kept on talking to the speaker beyond tolerable time. Few times the speaker tried to end the conversation – he first did it sutley but eough for everyone to notice, but she just kept on throwing more irrelevant questions. Finally he lost his patience, aburtly turned to me, held out his hand,
“Hi, I’m Joseph Fuller ..”
Woman, we weren’t listening to your insightful world view. Didn’t your husband pay enough attention to you?  We were waiting for you to take your exit voluntarily and in a timely fashion.  Like eating at a table, you shouldn’t hugging up all the food and should always ask when you want to take the last piece – my teenage kids know.  Why would those people invite humiliation? They all seemed education.  But where is the good manner?  No social grace at all.

If I see a Chinese in front of me (about to enter a door), I’m kind of prepare to fend for myself with it.  If I’m the one who’s holding the door for the Asian that follows me, I won’t be surprised not to hear a ‘thank you’.
It’s perfectly fine, I’m just a door man. It’s my job.
I always say thank you to the door man, even it’s his job.

One day at the subway, a lady with a baby and stroller was at the end of the long stairs. Two Asian men passed by. I walked up and held one side of the stroller. As on cue, Pumpkin went to the other side, helped out.  It’s weekend, and what’s so hard to help?  Don’t you feel great that you can be of a help?  Givers are always happier than takers!!!

不是三代做官不知穿衣吃饭, so true.

About The Kibbitzer

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