May 15 2008
Bending backward
Girls under represented in IT is a fact. One female CIO said that “If I see a man and a woman candidate who are equally qualified to take a role in my organisation, I’ll pick the woman every time, because I want to extend the opportunities I’ve enjoyed to other women.”
Hmmmm .. does this sound like discrimination? Sounds weak? Try to picture it in your mind, a white man says something like that.
I just went to a meeting with our school principal, organized by Chinese parents group. It lasted nearly two hours. The first hour we listened to the principal who gave an overview (in English) of the school and its system. Don’t we all get this stuff at orientation, I wondered out loud? What I didn’t say was shouldn’t we better use his good will, be respectful to his time? Think about it, if every other ethnic group (look at the flags on the wall) .. in our school wants to have their own orientation, the principal would be darn busy. The organizer looked worried, jumped in, trying to say that’s it’s more than orientation. I wanted to hear what the principal had to say. So I pressed. He said, well, .. well .. I was invited by this group … and it’s more than orientation. I didn’t learn any new thing that I didn’t hear at my orientation few years ago. I felt like a FOB there.
When the organizer told the parents to encourage their kids to get involved with school and community, he said, “we all want our kids to go to Ivy League schools, but they don’t just take the scores, they want to see the kid is getting involved .. “ I found that rather presumptuous. Not everyone wants their kid to attend Ivies. Just like not every Chinese drives a Benz or force their kid to learn a music instrument. Beside this score only admission policy had been in the distant past, so so passé. I really felt like a FOB, just being there.
I feel people should have a healthy does of self esteem that they should live in mainstream and compete among average Joe. I often hear other Chinese comment on this and that deans, or principals like Chinese and treat Chinese well. Why do you have to feel you’re being like? Isn’t that kind of naive to think this way .. for every good skipper, it’s his/her responsibility to maintain a harmonical relationship under his jurisdiction. Why didn’t the group use this opportunity to lobby the school increase Asian history, for example? For the immigrants, if you have the courage to abandon your home country searching for whatever you’re seeking elsewhere, shouldn’t you have the fortitude to weather the unfamiliar terrain, and willingness to mingle with the locals? Why can’t you come in here as an equal stake holder? Act with reverence and be respected, than be pitied? This would certainly give Chinese a good name. The organizer said many Chinese parents are shy and don’t feel comfortable in large setting. That sounds like “Mommy I want milk” to me.
And one more thing. We sat around a long conference table, parents’ cell phones were ringing off the hock. At beginning of the meeting, one woman’s cell phone sang, loudly. The principal paused, waited for her to fumbled with it, then politely said, “that’s nice music.” People, he’s being sarcastic. I’d think this would serve as a reminder (if you forgot to do so prior to the start of the meeting) to the rest to silent theirs? Haven’t the parents attended enough school functions (if not elsewhere or lack of common sense) to know to turn if off or silence it - the MC always ask at the gatherings. No, three more calls came. The principal complimented on their tones again. Is this a culture difference? I think this is blatantly rude behavior.