May 16 2007
Honorifically speaking
I drove Michael’s twin sons home and they said, “thank you auntie.” as they stepped out … not sure I can make my kids do that, or I wanted to. With Chinese, this is very important, addressing others appropriately. We have string of unique titles for each relative. Once I was having a great dinner with my dad’s uncle in Beijing who’s from the youngest concubine of the Baron, hence 3 years younger than my dad. But my dad always calls him 九叔 uncle the 9th and I grandpa, of course. Half way through dinner I slipped by calling him uncle … there were so many relatives at the table. The youngish and handsome man lectured me in a stiff tone, “no Irene, I’m your grandfather.” Okkaay, I’ll watch my mouth closely. Another time, a woman nearing her retirement had dinner with us, one of my g/fs told her daughter to address this lady grandma as courtesy. She almost felt off her chair: “no no no … just call me Helen.. “ although she’s born in China but been here long enough to not appreciate such tradition. When I first met my in-laws, I called them aunt and uncle .. sure they had good laugh, lol .. For me either way is fine, but I was the most careful when I went to Beijing with the kids, being called granny is still an honor regardless of your actual age.