For the record, I joined a writing workshop, for the very first time. There are eight of us (six women), each would get a chance to read out loud and get gentle and friendly critics. It’s kind of eerie when I read mine - never done so before - felt very naked.
Most classmates write novels, including the teacher who’s published author. One artist writes very whimscal and rhythmical poems - the most difficult one for me to understand and to offer opinion. An Radiologist who writes a lot about dogs. A school nurse who writes a young adult novel (summer camps). A young teacher writes (oh, she’s the only one who actually hand writes her novel in notebooks!) about a marriage of convenience (the handsome gay actor wants a baby ..). Another lady writes about a 60ish woamn was visiting Amsterdam for the first time and just found out her hubby has a mistress (her daughter knew about it but chose not to tell her). One of the guys writes a romance about two 70ish senior citizens, “I wanted to say that we’re old, but not dead ..” :). The second gentleman writes memoir, about his years in Israel. He always ask others to read and never offered opinion, till last night.
During one of the readings (by a classmate), Mr. Israel was busy taping his photos (I felt it’s disrespectful to the writer). When he again silent at discussion, one of the ladies spoke out, saying everyone benefits from others’ opinion. Can’t be a taker all the time. Mr. Israel rebutted that he listened .. he’s a great multitasker, can handle three things simultaneously. .. … Here is what I’m thinking: I strongly admire the lady who spoke out. You got to give back (but on the same token, the teacher offered her view that she doesn’t like to force everyone to say unless s/he has something to say). I certainly was hesitated to offer mine:
1. my English is limited, found every one’s writing is pretty good, what am I to criticizing? I purposely asked someone to read mine yesterday for the first time - wanted to hear it from someone else. The teacher read it. While reading, she has consistently to fight back the urge to edit it. So here you get some idea that for us, English as second or third language, we have our constrains. (By reading this blog, you’d know ..)
2. Honestly, how sincere was the critics? I don’t mean to question my classmates, but sometime I do feel the comments were more for the fact they wanted to offer a say out of politness than something worthy. I always feel that my writing alone will not win the day. After every reading (not sure they all understood what I was muttering, between my accent and incorrect grammars .. lord knows what else .. ), they have many questions on the culture. I’m right to call it support group. We are urging and cheering one another on.
3. I’m not from the USA, there are many things that I have no experience with, .. Those are just few curbs ..
Long time ago, I spoke with a woman from China who’s organized gathering of Chinese writers in New York. After few info exchange, our conversation flowed into writing itself. Talked about sending pieces to Chinese newspapers and magazines. When I mentioned that my only piece to the World Journal 世界日报 was published back in 1986 when I first came - 莱茵河畔载酒行- a title I took from one of the chapters in my book. She paused, asked me what page was it on. When I said it’s weekend edition, she immediately replied, “oh, that’s the easiest page to get on. ..” Ok, whatever. Very quickly, she cut the conversation short and hung up. (Am I sounding like a bigot if I stereotype .. Chinese from China - myself included - are less gracious/tactic than the Americans and other Chinese from elsewhere?)
I understand we are not going to get editor/publisher type of critics in the social settings. But for me, both the friendly fires and the sour grape all help me one way or the other. Even when the editor send his/her opinion, it’s the writer’s decision/evaluation as to change or not.
In our work shop, I happen to like Mr. Israel’s: all memoirs - although it isn’t the easiest one to follow. I enjoy the fact that I get first hand experience as I listen on. His writing isn’t good ( ha ha ha), and he’s very self-centered. Like on the rare occasion that he does participate in the discuss, was when he had something to say about himself.
This isn’t to say others in the group aren’t drawing from really life! Ms. Nurse wrote about her recent bump with her husband and the experience of joining couple counseling. When Ms. Radiologist read about her dog’s dying, it brought tears ..
Btw, two weeks ago, Mr. Senior-citizens-in-love (he’s a very nice voice) came with a Maine magazine that published one of his writings! Congratulations !!!! Way to go .. .. He got a $30 for it and joked, “I can’t even take my wife to lunch.” Oh ya, we’re all in this for the money, 
We took in two performances this past weekend, The Phantom of the Opera at the Majestic Theatre and a piano recital at Mannes College the New School of Music on 150 W 85th Street.